Run Toto Run!!!

Toto was fed up with Dorothy after her damn theatrical visit to the World of Oz and decided that he needed to get as far away from her and her damn basket as possible. In a rush, he filled a small sack with the most important things (a squeaky toy and some kibble) and ran as far as his little legs could him. To the airport, he thought, I need to get on the first plane out of Kansas. Out of breath and kibble, he arrived at the airport to find that this was the worst place he had ever been fortunate enough to visit. Impatient rude people, swearing, smoking, just the most foal of individuals congregating in a festering pit of filth. Well, actually this was paradise compared to the flying monkeys and the town where no one would ever shut the hell up. It was even better than being around Dorothy, we get it you’re going to see a wizard whoopty-freakin-doo. But he was a dog may I remind you not allowed to casually walk onto a plane not to mention he didn’t have any money to buy a ticket. He was expected to first have an owner on the same flight and second had to be stored with all the luggage and cargo. Excuse me no thank you he had rights, or so he thought, I can have a seat like everyone else. You see society had neglected dog’s civil rights and this frustrated Toto. So, like any dog in his situation he took the only rational approach he could think of. He decided he would stand in the middle of the Security Checkpoint line and cause a scene. He demanded civil rights for canines and felines (yes even felines, Toto was a generous dog) and for his voice to not only matter but to carry weight. But you see Toto spent too much time in Oz, where scarecrows make friends, lions walk on two legs and a tin can is able to talk. Here he was nothing more than a freakin dog and while with a sophisticated tongue eloquently defended his views he was still a dog and no matter how he spoke people ultimately saw a dog. Let me emphasize this point so you really understand, he was a damn dog so no one could hear him, all he did was bark and bark and bark. People stared amazed that a mutt had somehow wandered into the airport. Was he a stray or someone’s pet? No matter Security had already contacted Animal Control. Within minutes they were on the scene. Nets in hand they approached the crazed beast, cautiously, unsure if or when he’d attack. Toto saw these men hunched over slowly inching closer. He became uneasy. Poor Toto overcome with anxiety lead to him urinate right there in the middle of the Security Line. People began to scream “AHHHHHH the dog pissed everywhere Jesus F’ing Christ” while they recorded the entire altercation with their iPhones, iPads and the one guy with the Android (there’s always one). Toto, frightened, bit one of the men almost detaching his index finger from the rest of his hand. The airport erupted into panic and chaos. Luggage frantically flew through the air. People screaming bloody murder scattered, trampling elderly women, and shoving small children out of the way in an attempt to reach the EXIT. Toto sat there covered in urine and blood and still the men approached, this time they held a contraption of which Toto has never seen before. Confused he sat there staring at the man, he felt a sharp pain, his vision became blurry and he blacked out. When he arose from his deep slumber he found himself in a familiar room in a familiar house. He panicked, “OH SHIT!!!” he said trying to catch his breath, he was home in his bed and across the room he saw that damn basket. “Oh please no” he hoped as Dorothy walked in. He gasped and woke up. “It was just a dream thank you God” surrounded by metal and dogs foaming at the mouth. It was a relief “Okay this is why we don’t have any rights, got it.” Toto thought as he glanced around the room to find dogs licking themselves sniffing ass and eating their own and each other’s crap. No matter, he was at peace until his nightmare came true and that bitch with a smile on her face walked through the pound doors. Toto died that day. Poor innocent Toto.

-THE END-